Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, talks frequently about the lack of women in business leadership, and suggests that they could be making better headway in the corporate arena if they change some key behaviors and make a concerted effort to get in the game. I agree, but think it might go even deeper than that. Read the rest of this entry »
I have been mentoring women in business for over twenty years and I’ve noticed certain patterns of success emerging. Successful women in business have well-defined daily success habits. Read the rest of this entry »
By Tamar Peters
Old hurdles such as gender barriers have practically been overcome. This is clearly seen in the business world where men and women are sharing opportunities and responsibilities based on qualifications and not gender. In fact, women have contributed greatly to developments in business. Read the rest of this entry »
It is always good to have someone to look up to, such as a role model. When it comes to women in business, there are luckily quite a few people you can look to for inspiration. Below are some of the most popular ones with great stories that only add to the inspiration you can get from these women in business. Read the rest of this entry »
Whether yours is a story of tragedy from death of a spouse or the despicable result of an act of divorce, you’re a single parent, you’re alone and you deserve the privilege of knowing others care. No matter how hard you’re working to survive your personal reasons for being a single mom, the survival is more difficult when people don’t understand your perspective.
This young lady explains the dilemma and seeks to create an atmosphere of comprehending friends. Single parenting isn’t a choice, it’s her reality.
When Tricia Williford became a single mom, the tragedy of losing her husband haunted her. Overcoming the loss of a good man can be overwhelming, a disaster in the making, but this young woman triumphs in parenthood, and more…
Tricia is 32, with dark strawberry hair and striking features, a schoolteacher turned writer and editor. Her blog, teachingtuckandty.blogspot.com, started as a fun, easy way to update family and friends on the Willifords’ lives. By last December, she had written more than 1,100 entries, everything from game-night recaps to baby firsts to the time Tyler accidentally locked his mother and brother in a room while his dad, Robb, was out of town, and the police had to come let them out. Like so many “mommy blogs,” Tricia’s generated modest traffic, maybe a few dozen hits per month.
As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high gear to provide Americans with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods — merchandise that has been produced at the expense of American labor. This year will be different. This year Americans will give the gift of genuine concern for other Americans. There is no longer an excuse that, at gift giving time, nothing can be found that is produced by American hands. Yes there is!It’s time to think outside the box, people. Who says a gift needs to fit in a shirt box, wrapped in Chinese produced wrapping paper?Who wouldn’t appreciate getting their car detailed? Small, American owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you a gift certificate or a book of gift certificates.
Are you one of those extravagant givers who think nothing of plunking down the Benjamin’s on a Chinese made flat-screen? Perhaps that grateful gift receiver would like his driveway sealed, or lawn mowed for the summer, or driveway plowed all winter, or games at the local golf course.
There are a bazillion owner-run restaurants — all offering gift certificates. And, if your intended isn’t the fancy eatery sort, what about a half dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint. Remember, folks this isn’t about big National chains — this is about supporting your home town Americans with their financial lives on the line to keep their doors open.
How many people couldn’t use an oil change for their car, truck or motorcycle, done at a shop run by the American working guy?
Thinking about a heartfelt gift for mom? Mom would LOVE the services of a local cleaning lady for a day.
My computer could use a tune-up, and I KNOW I can find some young guy who is struggling to get his repair business up and running.
This is great!!!!!
You see, Christmas is no longer about draining American pockets so that China can build another glittering city. Christmas is now about caring about US, encouraging American small businesses to keep plugging away to follow their dreams. And, when we care about other Americans, we care about our communities, and the benefits come back to us in ways we couldn’t imagine. THIS is the new American Christmas tradition.
Certainly not the child.
In a recent court case, I ended up being a witness for a custody battle. The father an abusive, drug using, freeloader who makes accusations, demeaning remarks and statements that hold no value other than being a part of his impudent attempts to control the woman whom he abandoned, interrogated me with accusations. Accusations that didn’t work. I am not a victim, have no victim mentality and see no reason to cow tow to his brand of emotional abuse, even if I hadn’t seen the photos of his victim, whom he beat on an every day basis throughout the time they were together.
Which brings me to the point of my message today…
Over the past forty years, since I was old enough to visit the courts, listen to cases, and actively participate in the processes of the law, I’ve learned that it isn’t always the criminal who gets taken down in our illustrious court system. More often than not it’s the victim who came into court hoping for a fair trial/hearing or response from those who are supposed to be upholding the law, and protecting the victim, who gets taken to task for having the audacity to attempt to right a wrong.
In today’s court, as this victim so eloquently states:
So apparently, being a belligerent, abusive, asshole will get you EXACTLY what you want in a child custody case… Being the hard working, loving, caring parent who tries repeatedly to show a judge such things doesn’t matter anymore. Thanks for your prayers everyone, keep them coming. I’m going to need them…
It is literally the abusive, belligerent, drug addict who gets exactly what he asked for, in the same court that pretends to be protecting the minor child. In case nobody else has said it, I’d like to let the courts in Colorado and anywhere else that caters to dead beat fathers who simply don’t want to pay child support so they show up and start demanding visitation of their children (those same children whom they threatened to beat to death in the womb) , that eventually, those children will come of age and they will either continue the victimhood that got their mother’s treated with such disrespect within the court system, or their fathers, whose well known and admitted abuse continues through them and anyone else he chooses to beat senseless.
There is no question in my mind why women REFUSE to come forward and testify against rapists and abusive spouses. The courts don’t stand up for their rights, but rather continue the abuse, using legal means. It truly is a job well performed by the Colorado Court system. Keep it up, we’ll vote your carcasses OUT of the Black Robe and off the Bench.
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In those early days, when my first husband abandoned. I thought I could handle it. The absentee father didn’t really have to exist for my little girl to feel loved. He didn’t exist. Still doesn’t exist.
She grew up and lived a normal life, until she married. I noticed the men she dated were less that perfect, but I’d had trouble finding “perfect” too. So, I wasn’t aware that imperfect was the real problem, and finding the perfect man probably wasn’t going to happen. I’d looked around… I didn’t see many perfect men in my own life. In fact… I didn’t even see many men hanging around, being fathers, dedicated to fulfilling the commitments they’d made.
With all the love I had to give her, that hadn’t been enough. She was still seeking the love of a good man – and finding none.
She ended up in a relationship with a drug addict who pursued and eventually obtained a medical use card. His abuse was obvious, when he’d beat her, she cowered, pulling away from family and friends, ending relationships with strong people. Each time, he gained a bit more…
When she had a little girl, the abuse became more obvious.
Away from him, she thought the abuse would stop. It didn’t. The courts intervened and gave him visitation to the little girl. His continued abuse is emotional, comes as threats of not allowing her to have the child back after visits and worse… calls at work, threats.
Now, with the court allowing it, the emotional abuse from this man continues to beat her down.
Still she pulls away from the support and help her family could give her, avoids friends, because she’s afraid of being hurt. She fears for her child. She fears for her life.
Counseling may help, she’s been. She became strong enough to leave once.
Abuse never ends. It changes. Abandonment is abuse… Abuse of the worst kind, because it instills in a child the feeling that they are not worthy of love. And overcoming that feeling is a lifetime search for love.
I am that child – still searching for love.
More than once, when I’ve mentioned that an abusive husband is up to his old tricks, a friend of mine has reminded me that he’s created in God’s image and I must forgive him. I agree. As a Christian, it is my responsibility to forgive the abusive behaviors and acknowledge that the man is created in God’s image, a sinner who could be saved by grace. I fully understand that concept, and agree that God may forgive him for his abuse and the abusive ex-husband could go to heaven, the same as me or any other sinner (saved by grace) who has accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior, and the gift of his Grace.
I can forgive his abusive behavior. I can even go so far as to forgive his continued abusive behaviors, in so far as forgiveness affects me.
Today, I was faced yet again with the reminder that I’m to forgive him for his abuse and the behaviors that have hurt me and my children over the years. I can and do forgive him.
However… here’s where it gets mighty sticky in the forgiveness part of this process. He left nearly 11 years ago and has never paid a dime of child support. Not only has that left me without health care for many of those years, but also my children. My children have needed clothing and had to wait until I could bring in more money for the clothing they needed. While they’ve never gone hungry, there have been many times when we were down to the last can of beans and it had been a while since we’d had meat in the house. I can even forgive him for those “things” that he should have been helping to provide so that our children – the children he fathered and denied – could have what they needed.
He did, after all, get the pleasure of helping to create them. He should have been there for the supporting part of that process.
As their mother, I believed and still do believe that my money was better spent supporting them, than it would have been to waste it going after him, paying the legal network to hopefully collect money he swore he’d never pay.
Even if only the small portion he agreed to pay in mediation (then didn’t) had been paid, over the years, it would be $85,800.00 this coming May 2012, that he would have paid over these 11 years. Interestingly enough, this amount, a measly, paltry sum of $650 a month would have paid medical bills, insurance, and other costs of raising children, allowing me to concentrate on the basic costs of living and providing a better life for my children.
The youngest will be out of school and headed for college in May of 2013 and hasn’t seen his father in these past ten years. Nor does he care to see him. Nor do any of the kids care to see the man who didn’t care whether they had medical care, food to eat, a roof over their heads or clothes to wear. They recognized him for what he was when he left, a deadbeat sperm donor who lacked the ability to take responsibility for his children.
They can forgive him for all those things, and I’m certain they most likely have forgiven him, but that doesn’t change the fact that they don’t care to see the man who emotionally beat them up when he lived with them, denied they were his when he left, or didn’t give a care about them during the ten plus years as they grew up. I can forgive him. But I can’t change the fact that he’s a dead beat, slimy, low-life, scum of the earth. Knowing that’s what he is, doesn’t make me bitter, it makes me human, a being capable of recognizing the depths into which one human being can fall, when he walks away and refuses to support his children.
If he were to ask my forgiveness and correct this problem, the $85,800 would go a long way toward a down payment for housing for each of the kids, payment of college loans and costs they’ve accrued over the past few years, or even toward funding the possible costs of their children’s educations years in the future… Just one minor way that he might start making up for the wrongs he’s done.
My friend, if she reads this, will once again remind me that he’s created in God’s likeness. And, I’ll be forced to remind her that HE hasn’t asked for forgiveness, and most likely will not. Therefore, although I can say I forgive him and even pass on the burden of his issues to God, the ones he carries personally, I can do nothing about… Nothing.